Gift #1

#1. Not being ready.

For most of my life, my cliche answer to the question “are you ready?” has always been “I was born ready.”

Today, the answer is “absolutely not.”

The ever confident, competent, and capable 19-year-old me is about to embark on a journey to which I have absolutely no idea what to expect. I am not prepared, in any capacity, for what I will experience and what God will call me to do. And that is scary.

But I count this moment of “unreadiness” as a gift. I give thanks here and now because tonight, these next 5 weeks, I am leaning hard on Christ like I never have before. Learning to trust God in the darkness of the unknown is hard and hurts a little in my heart that so craves comfort and control. But I give thanks in this moment because I know he is molding and shaping me here and now.

And I pray that as time goes on, if I do happen to get “more ready,” it wouldn’t be because I have grown more confident in myself, but instead because I have grown more confident in Christ.

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